It must be said, in the interest of any self-proclaimed womanizers (and I happen to know for a fact that it would be a point of pride for those insensitive, half-witted, macho types) that I have, without a doubt, an appreciably large bust, of the variety that garners wolf-whistles, horn-soundings, gawks, and all manner of unpleasant and uneducated, sexually explicit remarks, which are, quite plainly, an affront of human decency. And so I may assume that perhaps half my acquaintances only speak to me as an excuse to oggle my bosom, or that is the reason our dialogue was originally opened. This does not, however, account for the remarkable number of perfectly heterosexual females with whom I converse on a regular basis - indeed, who appear, to all extents, to really enjoy my company.
I am, dear readers, if I have got any, without exaggeration, flabbergasted, floored, astonished, astounded, and, most particularly, flattered. But my question to you, if there's any "you" to speak to, is, "What, to your knowledge, could induce such a severe miscarriage of judgement, or perhaps, what, that I am unaware of, could make my company or conversation the smallest bit interesting, enlightening, or otherwise of a desirable nature?"
Readers, audience, fellow bloggers, if any English-speaking person on the planet is reading this, you are my only hope for honesty and understanding, for my friends, or so I like to call them, have the audacity to persist in telling me that I am sweet, intelligent, or amusing in response to my queries.
Well, I have now got to go to the loo quite urgently, which is not surprising considering the volume of caffeinated beverages I consume in a very small space of time. So, once again, I bid you adieu! I suggest you now enjoy the caffeinated beverage of your choice, unless you intend to go to bed after a hard night's web-surfing, or web-slinging in the case of Mr. Parker (of whom, incidentally, I am very fond).
But I digress, as I am wont to do, and is, indeed, my eccentricity of choice. If you have suffered through my ramblings, you have my thanks, whatever that is worth, and I beg your pardon. So goodnight, good morning, good afternoon, or good luck! (Delete inappropriate well-wishings as necessary).