The World Imploded

Frustration is slowly eating me from the inside out.

I don't. Want. To think about my life - what it's going to be for the next twelve, fifteen months.

I thought I wouldn't be able to write tonight, but it's surprising what your habitual writing spot can do for you. I sit down at this computer and put on some music and Bam! I start typing. It's like magic!

Do forgive me, but me head's a little vague.

I know what I've got to do, and I've just got to grit my teeth and do it. And the actual day to day will not be hard. It will be easy, so easy.

For the next year, I have to continue to live with my parents. Get a regular job (well, the best paying job I can find) - two if I can manage it. And spend as few pesetas as possible.

Ha. This will be so easy it may kill me.

I don't know if you understand how much I can feel my brain already melting. I mean, I watch way too much Hulu, so I'm doomed anyway, but over a YEAR of a regular job and no intellectual stimulation.... !

BUT! But, I am going to grit my teeth and do this so that I can finally go back to school. Oh, Brain, my Brain, just you wait. Learning again! What a heaven that will be! Yes, the thought of it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!

Alright. Now, I am very tired and rather ill and a wrackspurt's got my brain. To round the evening off nicely, here is a very, very, very short story.

            The world imploded.

            Hardly anyone knew it was going to happen. One earthling fortune teller had predicted it, but she had long ago given up on the idea of being believed, and so she had tucked herself away in a filthy corner of the planet and was never heard of.

            It was a rather sorry sight, all that glitter and dust and life folding in on itself, curling in like flaming parchment, and eventually becoming nothing but a tiny speck.

            Two systems over, on a planet whose name is irrelevant, a distinctly non-humanoid life form, with a very long telescope, entered the data into an impossibly vast network, and that was the last anyone, anywhere, ever thought of Earth.

On Zombie Invasions, part 1

Let us consider, friends, the teachings of zombie warfare: whacking, hacking, piercing, chopping, slicing, dicing, blowing away, etc. - all manner of slaughtering techniques one may employ by use of a knife, shotgun, longbow, axe, chainsaw - whatever sort of weapon you favour in defending yourself and loved ones from the living dead. The extermination of zombies is a simple matter if one is experienced in the deadly arts and the zombies are not too great in number. Sources are clear that one has merely to get them into bits small enough to no longer be a threat (the undead having no functioning organs, nor flowing blood - the destruction, or spilling, of which would otherwise be the most expedient means of discouraging their approach). But it is not the unmeditated destruction of a few undead by an individual which I propose to discuss. I wish to attack the issue of zombie invasion on a grander scale.

It is the possibility of a bona-fide zombie horde in a populous area that poses a real threat to society. I am speaking, fair citizens, of at least a few hundred undead, of a situation in which the danger is that they simply keep coming on, until our valiant living cannot hold up their weapons any longer. Then we will run and hide, disorganised in our exhaustion, scattering, wanting only to close our eyes for a few hours and regain our strength. And then, when we have put ourselves at the disadvantage, the horde will pick us off one by one!

But heavens, I am so unutterably tired that I fear this entry will quickly dissolve into meaningless meanderings, and you will get so little sense from me that upon next encountering a zombie you may attempt to bludgeon it with a codfish! So, I shall wish you a goodnight for now. I give you my word as a lady and a warrior that I shall quite thoroughly enlighten you on the morrow. Go in peace, friends, but be always on your guard! Constant vigilance!