A Long Way to Go

The sky is heavy, so I am listening to Bach because it is appropriately moody.

Soon. Another end. Another beginning.

This is a cop out, since I didn't write this today, but here is the (very short) piece I shared with writer's group tonight:

            I’ve still got a long way to go, to get away from you.

(I love you).

            I ran to the opposite end of the space you occupied. (I’d measured only in cubic meters). But your face was still plastered all over my brain like someone had glued pictures of you there, so I never wanted to close my eyes. (I love you).

            I wanted to say that it wasn’t my fault – that you had led me on, but that would be to wrong us both. I know you too well. And you can’t change who you are. You’re so full of life, like a blazing fire, and I want to be burned by you. But I can’t get inside your circle of light and warmth. (I love you).

            We wrestled like children. (I love you). And when, under the curve of my arm, I thought I saw you smile (I love you), my breath caught in my chest, cause I thought for one silver-edged second that you might let me in.

            But you were miserable without her. (Still, I love you). And, How, I thought, How can she be so stupid? And all I wanted was for you to be happy, (I love you), no matter what happened to me.

            I thought my heart would burst – it’s so full of you.

            (I love you).

            When the words came they spilled out of my mouth too fast (IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou) and made me feel sick and I wanted to stuff them all back in and swallow them like I had a thousand times before. (uoy evol I)

             …

            But how pathetic – to be pitied by the one I love.

            The place on my cheek where you were gracious enough to lay your lips burned.

            (And still, I love you).

            And I ran. And I hid. And you didn’t try to find me.

            (And still, I love you).

            (And still, I love you).

 

            (And still.)

 

 

(I love you).

I’ve still got a long way to go, to get away from you.

Thoughts? Honesty is appreciated. Is this prose or poetry? It's like posetry. Well, that is the way this modern poetry seems to have turned.